• Quoc Tran

Local Student Pledges to Join Clubs and Attend Office Hours Next Quarter

Local third-year engineering student Abigail Nelson recently promised herself that she would be more proactive in her college experience by utilizing campus resources and social groups available to her. In the early hours of Thursday morning, she made this news public in a Facebook post, stating she would “join a club or two and go to office hours, or something.” Nelson later commented on the same post that she would begin her plan when the Spring 2019 quarter begins.

Sources close to her reported that Nelson was “struggling with a paper due and a midterm to study for the next day” when she created the post. One source reported, “Abby’s been having a pretty tough and stressful time. She told me she regrets not doing more throughout the quarter and it’s like Week Nine now or something, so it’s kinda late.” One of Nelson’s freshman year suitemates said, “She’s a pretty good student, but she always ends up procrastinating. Actually, I guess she’s not really that good of a student.”

Reporters were able to find Nelson at Price Center surrounded by hordes of students who had seen her post, anxiously spectating her as she attempted to get more involved with school activities. Nelson was observed eating lunch while watching “Finding Dory” on her laptop instead of studying for her upcoming oceanography midterm. When asked about which explicit actions she would take these following quarters, Nelson remained non-committal, only repeating her promise to get more involved in student organizations and to go to office hours for classes she was struggling in. She ended her statement by muttering something about “going to the gym.”

Nelson’s supporters believe that her plan to improve herself academically and socially will work. Jason Friedberg, a close friend, tells reporters, “I’ve heard that if you get more involved in school, it’ll pay off,” echoing a belief held by many students at the university. “I might also try it out myself, next quarter of course.” Critics of her proposal however point out that it’s unheard of for a student to turn themselves around partway through the year. “I’ve been through the whole ‘reinvent myself’ routine every single quarter,” said fourth-year John Buck. “I think the reality is some people are just lazy pieces of crap, and Abigail needs to just accept that about herself and move on. Next quarter though, of course.” Supporters held that involvement would lead to better academic performance, but added that rather than attempting this feat next quarter, with the year already two-thirds gone, it would be better to “wait until Summer Session or maybe the next school year.”

Following her interview, Nelson backtracked on her Facebook statements, citing the final “Game of Thrones” season as her “final guilty pleasure before buckling down on school.” She has also requested help on her academic schedule, posting: “Anyone have experience changing majors from engineering to something easier? Also, how much do underwater basket weavers make a year?”

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